Today, I unconsciously paraphrased someone’s words to somebody else.
They liked the sound of it.
Those words were told to me about two years ago.
I remember how it took me a year to actually understand what those words meant.
It’s funny how some people’s words live on in your mind and that’s about it.
I wonder if anyone ever quoted my words to their family, friends, crushes, or potential dating app matches.
Did it register in their mind unconsciously?
Did it come to them at a moment of crisis?
Did they find solace in those words or despised it?
Did they feel sad for me or a newfound admiration?
Or nothing.
Words are charming but what are words if they are only a defence or a facade for an issue you do not want to address.
What are words if you are the sharpest brain in the room but have the dullest emotional bandwidth.
What are emotions that are volatile but swallowed at sea by ego or a stubborn resistance with being by yourself.
Human nature, I guess.
I have miles to row.
Sometimes I end up rowing in circles.
I don’t think it has to do with me being directionally challenged but haha, this process is fun with dry tears.
Today I remember P, how their mind ate themself alive and how much of a good headache it was, to be a short part of it.
As and When. 