Earlier, seeing some things that people post online used to irk and discomfort me for different reasons. Some still do. Kind of realised it has more to do with discomfort that the post was invoking in me rather than the content itself.
This discomfort obviously has its roots in the experiences I have had, how I have dealt with it or not, my coping and defense mechanisms, my avoidance, my growing pains. Sigh.
Now I see some posts and internally comment to myself or some I skim through without a single reaction.
Occasionally the comments sort of sound like :
“I was there too”
” Who did what to you?”
” Sigh. Cringe. Okay”
” Aaah. Here we go again”
“Little do you know you are complaining about your own lack rather than the other person’s”. (Applicable to myself too)
What do you do when you know everyone is going on a different curve whether in learning or otherwise?
Do you condescend over them with what you think you know “better” or do you pause and see if it’s worth your time and energy, and most importantly if the other side is open to a healthy discussion (which by the way, they aren’t obliged to engage in nor do they owe an explanation to who agrees/disagrees with them)
Do you mute this kind of content?
Do you reflect on it by yourself?
Do you drop in a comment?
Do you let it pass?
Is it correction you are offering?
A suggestion?
A remark?
Criticism?
Are you contributing to that conversation?
What you share is also where your values lie (is atleast the yardstick social media is implementing with the ‘Share’ or ‘Like’ button).
Or it shows us maybe a tiny peek into what makes you happy, sad, angry, laugh or think.
At the same time, everyone is purging out their unconscious insecurities, angst, biases and more, through their thoughts, the content they share, the relatability they show with the content. (Is this also the very same reason why some people don’t post anything online? I mean, good for you(?) )This could be one of mine too.
Knowing that everyone is susceptible to this makes it easier to simply pause and reflect rather than go on a full-on ‘defend n attac’ mode.
Sometimes, the ocassional slip happens.
Triggered, the lady does get—the mute and block button isn’t far away from my fingers as much as the lurking trigger buttons are.
And hey, I will get back to them when I am in a better place.
I will.
Or I may not.
But I like this place.
It took me some years to get to this.
Some of you might have inherently had this knowing instilled in the person you are or maybe it didn’t take you that much time,
I am taking my time…
I haven’t arrived and maybe I never will
But I am travelling still.
21 October ,2020
3:50 p.m.
Photo credit: Angel Ngullie.
As and When. 